To FORGIVE.... that is tough... Different from forgetting... I have had to learn that to forgive someone of something doesn't mean you have to forget they did it. And that is a HUGE difference as well as a HUGE gap to cross... A tough lesson to learn and actually follow. I think I have acheived it with my ex-boyfriend....
I have forgiven Shawn for his infidelity.... it seems to be his nature and I was not the only one he was unfaithful to in his stream of girlfriends. I feel sorry for him that he cannot commit to one person and have a relationship that truly grows and strengthens - as he destroys it before it has a chance to bloom. He definitely did that with me.
So while I have forgiven him... I have NOT forgotten:
1. The LIES. He still lied to me about what was going on even when I had a 1 inch thick stack of emails that definitely proved otherwise.
2. That he stole things from me. I will never get those items back. But I did find out that he had to file for bankruptcy so Karma got him.
3. That he called to tell me he was marrying the woman he cheated on me with on the one year anniversary of the day he first cheated on me with her. He thought the date was special (classy huh??).
4. That he tried to destroy my relationship with my Mom. He was so hateful to her - now I think it was jealousy as he didn't have that relationship with his mom.
5. The verbal abuse. If it hadn't been for 2 little boys whom I often protected from their dad's anger I would have kicked him out long before I finally did.
6. The threats he made against my life and property. My tearful and fearful trip to the Alabaster police department to file a report and request a restraining order (a piece of paper we all know does NOT work).
My one BLESSING out of all of this - my wonderful husband Jody who was one of Shawn's friends and who would drive by my home to make sure things were OK without telling me (he didn't want to scare me but he knew what Shawn had done). My first date with Jody on Dec 22 and my marriage the following March 17.
My LESSON in all of this - God has a bigger plan and sometimes you go through dark periods so that you appreciate the bright ones that much more!!! If I hadn't suffered the hell with Shawn I wouldn't have the heaven with Jody.
I have no idea what Shawn in doing now - it has been 6 years. I am in touch with his ex-wife (the mother of his boys) and I still get to watch them grow up. Shawn's life isn't so great from what I hear but he made that bed... Karma has paid him back so I have peace in that.
Forgiveness. Tough to do. Really tough. But not to be confused with Forgetting.....
Suzanna, I am so happy that you have used that FORGIVE word, and that your life is so much better. It is certainly tough to forget and that is often a blessing to help us see the BEST side of things--otherwise we not recognize that side. In the eternal scheme of things, such challenges can bring strength through change so the bright side overcomes the dark side. Great story.
Thank God for Jody!! Aside from the great lesson of forgiving but not forgetting, I absolutely love the way you write. Your personality and attitude is as noticeable as any I have read. Glad you got rid of him.