It's 7pm and my nanna has now been in hospital for one week. She has been brilliant staying in her own home 97 years but as 98 approached she took to her bed, prefering to sleep the day away.
Concerned, my father called in the carers. Just prior to her stay in hospital she had the same lady most days calling for breakfast, dinner and tea. Now she has fallen a couple of times this will increase to include bedtime too assuming she recovers well enough to go home.
It breaks my heart to see her losing her marbles, hardly able to hear, miserable in a body that won't work anymore. Her legs look like she has been in a car crash and she has been put in isolation as she has contracted the MRSA bug (probably in hospital). She is lonely and just wants to go home to die, yet at the same time she is scared of dying. She is is scared of getting to heaven and bumping into my grandad who left her 44 years ago for another woman. She is scared of pain. She is scared of leaving my dad on his own.
She forgets that my dad has re-married. We lost mum 10 years ago (2003) to cancer and she misses her.
She loves my Steve and held his hand for ages on Saturday. He is so good with her, he thinks she should be allowed to go home. I think she will be safer in a residential home but you hear of so many people giving up in homes and being mistreated. Still its not my decision to make. My dad is her next of kin and he is waiting to be told what to do by the doctors.
We had a giggle my daughter and me on the ward at the week-end. A young lad came in and asked nanna if she wanted a cup of tea. "do you take the dead ones" I enquired, meaning the empty cup from earlier, the look on his and Zoes faces - they had never head of that expression before, good job nanna can't hear!
We leave her with her photo book, going through her memories. Her short term memory is quite short now so everytime she picks it up it is like the first time she has ever seen it. Olive Russell - This is Your Life.